10. 1968 Ford Mustang GT390 – Bullitt

Once upon a time action movie actors were cool…real cool. If you’ve never heard of Steve McQueen then just act like you have, because thirty-five years ago he was the coolest action star around. So what made McQueen so cool? He did all his own driving stunts. In the modern era of some of the no-talent pretty faces we call action heroes (I’m looking at you Nic Cage) it is rare to get someone who kicks as much butt as McQueen did. In Bullitt, McQueen drove a GT390 Mustang all around San Francisco at high speeds. In the era before traction control, stability control and airbags, driving a car like the Mustang at break-neck speeds was dangerous business. Still don’t believe that Steve McQueen was the baddest man around? Consider this: In 1970 Steve McQueen entered the 12 hours Sebring Race against some of the greatest drivers in the world, he finished second behind legendary driver Mario Andretti. Adding to the legend, McQueen had a broken left foot at the time from a motorcycle accident. Racing clutches are hard enough to push with a healthy foot, try it with a broken one. McQueen also had to wear an asbestos wrap around his foot because the heat inside the car was too much for the cast. It would seem as though real men don’t wear leather or jeans…they wear asbestos.

9. 1970 Dodge Challenger – Vanishing Point

Vanishing Point is a very avant-garde type of action film. Directors such as Quentin Tarantino loved this film for its grit and subtle story. In many ways the entire movie feels surreal, the characters are obscured, their motivations unclear. But perhaps the most mysterious character of all is the car, a 1970 Dodge Challenger. With a pistol grip shifter, this car was a beast that seemed to growl and gnarl its way across the country. The sound of its exhaust was so memorable it might as well have been included in the script. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA4ymmXa8rs

8. 2008 Lamborghini Murcielago- the Dark Knight

In The Dark Knight when Bruce Wayne wasn’t driving around in the Batmobile or on his Ducati , he was saving lives in his Lamborghini Murcielago. For our non-Spanish speaking friends, Murcielago is Spanish for bat, what a coincidence. The car is just plain bad-ass and fit the Wayne persona to a tee. The only real shame was that director Christopher Nolan chose to destroy the car in a scene near the finale of the movie.

7. 1972 Ford Gran Torino – Gran Torino

He is one of the hardest MF’ers in the history of cinema and has taken on all comers from cowboys, to drug dealers to terrorists. In 2008′s Gran Torino Clint Eastwood takes on gang members as a retired military hero. As cool as Eastwood is, the real star of the movie may be the 1972 muscle car that the movie uses as its namesake. The classic auto is a picture of muscle and power and the movie highlights it just enough to make a real impression. Everyone will want a muscle car after watching this one move.

6. 1983 Porsche 928 – Risky Business

“Sometimes you just have to say…what the fuck.” That is the lesson of the 80s classic Risky Business. Before Tom Cruise was telling us aliens control our brains and jumping up and down on Oprah’s couch, he was playing an enterprising high school senior taking his father’s Porsche 928 on a joyride through Wilmette, Illinois. At times it’s as if the car outshines the once little known star. There was a point after this movie was released that this was by far the coolest car in the world. After looking at it now, it’s still pretty damn cool.

5. 1958 Plymouth Fury – Christine

Stephen King wrote the novel and John Carpenter did the book justice with a thrilling take on the car that has a mind of its own, and usually that leads to death of those who get in its way. The oldest car on our list may be the most ascetically beautiful as well. The red Plymouth Fury, from the 1983 horror movie Christine, with its flare sides and black-out tint leaves you feeling that the car IS actually alive. But when its all over you always come back to feeling that alive or just a machine, the roadster is just plain awesome.

4. 2006 Aston Martin DBS – Casino Royale

Absolutely one of the most beautiful cars ever produced, the 2006 Aston Martin DBS is exemplary in its craftsmanship, style and performance. Used in the Bond reboot Casino Royale Daniel Craig drives it with class until once again, as with the Lambo above, the car is destroyed in a roadside wreck. If I had my pick of the list aside from the next entry this might be my car.

3. 1958 Ferrari 250 Spyder – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

This may be the most stunning entry on our list, the 1958 Ferrari 250 Spyder from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. When Ferris, Cameron and Sloan take the car from Cam’s father’s garage, you become tense for the rest of the movie not knowing the fate of this gem of an automobile. Through the suburbs of Chicago and into the city, through the parking attendant joyride and back to the burbs, the aura of uncertainty is astounding. Finally the inevitable happens as the car is thrust out the back of an elevated garage to meet its demise. And we all wept internally. The good news in all of this was that it wasn’t a real Ferrari in the movie. Whew.

2. 1967 GT500 Shelby Cobra – Gone in 60 Seconds

Has there ever been a more dichotomous movie where the quality of the film was completely out-shined by a car? We think not as Gone in 60 Seconds was an average movie with a sub par plot and equally average acting. This movie was thoroughly all about the 1967 Shelby they called “Eleanor” in the movie. These cars are not only beautiful but extremely rare as the exceed six figures easily these days at auction. Nic Cage never had it so good.

1. 1981-82 DeLorean DMC-12 – Back to the Future

We know this is a predictable choice, but we couldn’t in good conscience pick anything over the Back to the Future DeLorean. This car captured our imagination with its sleek design, gull-wing doors and use in the greatest fantasy/sci-fi film of the 1980s (arguably right there with Blade Runner). MIchael J. Fox would go on to star in two sequels of the film, though the intrigue and awe from the car in the first one had faded a bit. To this day no concept car with a limited release still holds quite the cult status of this legendary auto. Too bad they don’t all come with a flux capacitor.

15. Dire Straits – “Tunnel of Love” ~ 8:11 ~ (1980)

Mark Knopfler and Dire Straits have been making quality hits for years. As one of the best guitarists in the world he has penned countless tracks with a style that is all his own. On 1980′s Tunnel of Love Dire Straits performs a ballad that never shifts from its rock undertone. In the opening buildup with the classic organ, you get a feeling of something brilliant to come. Shortly thereafter Knopfler’s gruff voice comes out and the smoothness of the song takes full shape. Tunnel of Love is a fantastic song that will remain a rock groove for many more generations to appreciate.

14. Creedence Clearwater Revival – “I heard it Through the Grapevine” ~ 11:07 ~ (1970)

CCR’s take on the old Motown hit I Heard It Through the Grapevine, is a splendid example of a remake that uses its own style to capture the greatness and imagination of the original. John Fogerty’s unique voice lends to the feel and the long jam session in the middle makes it a worthy choice for this list. Most notably released by The Miracles in 1966, Gladys Knight and the Pips in 1967 and the incomparable Marvin Gaye in 1968, we think that CCR did justice to the song and performed a worthy rendering.

13. Supertramp – “Fool’s Overture Live” ~ 10:58 ~ (1980)

Supertramp has written classic pieces for decades, many of them long in duration and a few extra short, but all are relatively pleasant to listen to on any occasion. One of their earlier extended tracks was Fool’s Overture, the final track on the 1977 album “Even the Quietest Moments”. A great song that was played to even higher levels on the “Paris: Live” album a few years later.

The song opens very melancholic with piano, some white noise and strange voices that lead to a break, followed quickly by a pace shift lead by brilliant keyboards and a horns. The song tells a story before we even get to the first lyrics and by that time you are emotionally invested. When lead singer and keyboardist Roger Hodgson finally chimes in, the beauty is set in motion and only a fool would tune out.

12. Tool – “Lateralus” ~ 9:24 ~ (2001)

Tool has been a band on the rise for over two decades and the loyal following they have garnered has grown ever since. In 2001 the band released the album “Lateralus” with the title track becoming an underground hit. The song is exceedingly interesting for its time sequences and its use of the mathematical theories of the Fibonacci Sequence, the Golden Ration and others. In some ways the song and its depth soar over the heads of most (us included), but that doesn’t stop it from being an amazing song and well fit for our list.

11. Bob Dylan – “Hurricane” ~ 8:32 ~ (1975)

The story of boxer Rubin “Hurricane” Carter is a tumultuous one, filled with highs, lows, greatness and despair. Carter was a contender for the middleweight championship of the world in the 1960s, but was imprisoned on murder charges that most agree were unfavorably trumped up in the deep south. When he was imprisoned, despite the lack of evidence and reliable witnesses, one person that decided to speak up on the injustice was Mr. Tambourine Man himself, Bob Dylan.

The Hurricane is pure poetry and storytelling put to a remarkable melody. Dylan doesn’t worry about the conventional rhyming that takes place in many songs and just goes about telling the tale of the fighter. Surprisingly it works in so many ways and leaves us with an epic song by one of the worlds most legendary songwriters.

10. Queen – “Bohemian Rhapsody” ~ 7:15 ~ (1975)

Is there any song more distinctly an example of a “rock opera” than the classic Queen hit Bohemian Rhapsody? I would say no, and I am sure I am not alone. The song is set in three parts: the opening ballad, the middle operatic verse and the final hard rock section. All flow beautifully together both lyrically and stylistically. After its initial mid-1970s rise it garnered a rebirth when it was featured in the Saturday Night Live production of “Wayne’s World” in 1992. Not matter where it is featured though it will always be a consummate extended rock classic.

9. Green Day – “Jesus of Suburbia” ~ 9:08 ~ (2004)

Green Day have been mostly known as punk rockers despite their commercial appeal. In more recent years as the band ages and becomes more musically mature, they have experimented in different genres and musical vanes with some success and some questionable decisions. In 2004 when the band released “American Idiot” they showed just what they were made of with a rock album for the ages. One of the most brilliant songs on the album was the almost 10 minute Jesus of Suburbia… (the song title is actually the names of all the parts of the song, but we just shortened it to its more common name). Set in five different parts, all with slightly differing tempos and moods, it blends terrifically and gives us a story of the protagonist Jimmy and his journey. We love what Green Day did with the song and album and hope they give us more…much more.

8. Lynyrd Skynyrd – “Free Bird” ~ 9:11 ~ (1974)

More lighters have burned out to Freebird than possibly any other song in history. Lynyrd Synyrd gave us the supreme 1970s rock anthem that has all the elements and trimmings of the songs we love so much from that generation. From the opening piano to the effects to the guitar solo, you feel the song with all your senses not just your ears. All the way from beginning to end you want to hear more and they give it to you as the song seems to never end. If southern rock were a beautiful woman, Freebird would be the perfect breasts that everyone wanted to touch.

7. Pink Floyd – “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” ~26:01 ~ (1975)

In 1975 Pink Floyd released a legendary album loosely based on the life and tragic descent into madness by their former leader and singer Syd Barrett. The first and last tracks on “Wish You Were Here” were split into two parts and titled Shine on You Crazy Diamond. The song detailed Syd’s life in a metaphoric sense and provided therapy and closure for the band.

From the opening sequence to the first lyric takes about eight minutes for the build up, but it is well worth the wait. The album goes on to three equally great songs and finishes up with Shine on… Part 2. Almost equally divided the song takes up about 2/3 of the album time, but you lose nothing as it is essentially the Floyd’s greatest work and will “Shine on” forever in our eyes.

6. Dave Matthews Band – “Crush” ~ 8:09 ~ (1998)

If there ever was a serenade-by-candlelight-after-a-romantic-dinner song, Dave Matthews has given it to us with Crush. A ballad, a jam, a live staple, this song has captured the hearts of millions of the band’s fans. What Dave does in most of his songs is give us a noisy greatness with the bands talents in all forms of musical acuity. From Carter Beauford’s immaculate percussion to Stefan Lessard’s base groove to Boyd Tinsley’s Violin jams to the late Leroi Moore’s horns to Dave’s splendid vocals this song has it all and then some. Just light a candle, turn the lights off, close your eyes and listen…tell us your not moved.

5. Rush – “2112″ ~20:33 ~ (1976)

What can we say about Rush’s 2112? Freaking awesome that’s what! The band has always taken chances and never more was it apparent than with this album and song. 2112 takes us on a mystical and spacey journey through a sci-fi world that we don’t want to begin to explain for it is complicated, if not just plain weird. But what do we care about is that the song is frighteningly cool and rocks like few songs do. Not to mention we get 20+ minutes of drum God Neil Peart.

4. The Who – “Won’t Get Fooled Again” ~ 8:34 ~ (1971)

How much inspiration has come from this song? Just look at the countless commercials, movies, trailers and advertisements that use the opening for their respective purposes. If there ever was a defining rock song Won’t Get Fooled Again maybe be near or at the top of the list. Its political anti-government message was used by a generation of rebels and drugged out teens as their anthem. The Who were leaders in the counterculture movement and this song is one of their defining moments as artists.

3. Metallica – “One” ~ 7:25~ (1988)

In 1988 a thrash metal band named Metallica continued a quest for musical enlightenment and a more evolving mature sound. In their experimentation Lars Ulrich and James Hetfield wrote a stirring anti-war song entitled One . The opening seconds include several battle sound effects and the song and video tell the story of Dalton Trumbo’s 1939 novel “Johnny Got His Gun” in which a soldier is severely injured by German artillery and loses most of his limbs and facial features. The song proved that the boys could play and weren’t just a bunch of disgruntled youth who had long hair and just wanted to shout. In a time of glam rock and 1980s pop, Metallica’s long song provided a new genre for MTV videos and put the band on the mainstream map.

2. Led Zeppelin – “Stairway to Heaven” ~ 8:02 ~ (1971)

Stairway To Heaven is one of the greatest rock songs ever…Period! There isn’t much to elaborate on except to say it fits on our list as it spans just over eight minutes. Few songs provide as much heart and emotion as this legendary track, with its build up, beauty and rocking finale. Robert Plant doesn’t just sing the song but puts his entire heart into it, painting you a picture of this fictitious woman and her stairway. As you listen to the song you feel the adrenaline and you get excited as the song speeds up until you just can’t help but pick up that air guitar and jam with the band. Come on admit it, we all have.

1. Don McLean – “American Pie” ~ 8:32 ~ (1971)

Has there ever been a song with more scope, depth, metaphor and meaning than American Pie by Don Mclean? Told in linear fashion, the song spans decades of explaining Mr. McLeans dissatisfaction with the music industry. Claiming that the plane crash killing musical legends Richie Valens, Buddy Holly and The Big Bopper, was “The Day the Music Died”, Mclean rips into the industry as becoming materialistic and veering away from the great music that had been pioneered by the crash victims along with others legends. He names people metaphorically as evil and good in this clash of artistic interpretation.

Now, McLean has never given much interpretation or explanation of the song stating:

“You will find many interpretations of my lyrics but none of them by me… sorry to leave you all on your own like this but long ago I realized that songwriters should make their statements and move on, maintaining a dignified silence.”

Despite the above quote many have tried including myself to understand the nature of what he was trying to say. Nonetheless the song is magical and one of the greatest folk, rock and blues hits ever. Listen to the lyrics, feel the melody and let us know what you think, but surely keep in mind we don’t necessarily agree with all Mclean’s sentiments but we thank him for trying as the world is a better place with this song in it.

Not all movies need to be seen in HD, Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts is one example. Why waste time with a movie that does nothing impressive visually? If you are going to break in your new HDTV and Blu-ray player you need to find movies that show off the technology.

15. The Dark Knight

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Any movie that was partially shot in IMAX format will look great on Blu-ray, and the The Dark Knight is a great place to start. From the opening credits this movie shows off what HD is capable of. What makes this movie particularly good for HD is the fact that director Christopher Nolan hates CGI, so when you are watching a car flip in the The Dark Knight you are actually watching a THE car flip.

14. The Maltese Falcon

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Believe it or not you do not need color for a good HD experience. Try watching a Noir movie like The Maltese Falcon. In the era of black and white, directors were very deliberate in their use of light and dark, which makes these movies great for showing off the contrast ratio of your new HDTV.

13. Star Trek – 2009

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J.J. Abrams knows how to hypnotize his audience with non-stop action, without making you seasick like Michael Bay often does. Star Trek has all the elements necessary for a good HD film — explosions, fights, alien creatures and high speed movement. It also has a cast of very good-looking actors, including Chris Pine, Eric Bana and Zoe Saldana.

12. 2001: A Space Odyssey

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OK, it is 2010 and we are nowhere close to flying manned missions to Jupiter, leaving 2001: A Space Odyssey not that accurate a predictor of the future. But 2001 is still a classic that is only enhanced in the HD format. The soundtrack features mostly Richard and Johann Strauss pieces, and the visual effects stand up amazingly well considering the film was made in 1968. Stanley Kubrick has made several films worth checking out in HD, including Spartacus, A Clockwork Orange and Full Metal Jacket, but 2001 is perhaps the best movie to really show off your Blu-ray player.

11. The Police- Certifiable

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If you are going to watch a live concert on Blu-ray, The Police in Buenos Aires on their farewell tour in 2008 is perhaps one of the greatest concerts you will ever see.  If your goal is to experience a live concert in your living room, then this is the one you want to watch. The combination of amazing sound with great on-stage camera shots makes it an experience worth having, not to mention seeing Sting, Summers and Copeland still going strong in their old age.

10. Where the Wild Things Are

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So you need a movie for the kids? Sure you could get one of the Toy Story movies, or The Princess and the Frog. But if you really want to show off your TV and Blu-ray player, you need to get Where the Wild Things Are. When looking for good HD movies, it sometimes pays to go with a movie that was intended to be in HD from the very beginning, Where the Wild Things Are is just such a movie.

9. The Day After Tomorrow

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Sure, 2012 is the best-selling disaster movie on Blu-ray right now, but the Day After Tomorrow has every disaster movie cliche in the book in it. It has a scientist in a bad relationship, a teenage son trying to save the life of his amazingly clumsy girlfriend, and it even has wild wolves. Put that all in HD and it is pure disaster movie goodness. Roland Emmerich has made a bunch of these disaster flicks, but this one will look the best on your big screen.

8. From Dusk Till Dawn

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The use of color in From Dusk Till Dawn is amazing, but let’s be honest: watching Salma Hayek dance half-naked in HD is worth the purchase price of the TV alone. No matter what age, background or sexual orientation, if Salma Hayek is dancing on a screen in HD you will stop whatever you are doing and watch. But the fun doesn’t stop there, From Dusk Till Dawn has nudity, violence, vampires and snakes, to go along with Hayek, Clooney, Tarantino, and Keitel. All of those things are worth seeing in HD.

7. Planet Earth- The Complete BBC Series

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Not every movie in you collection can be an action movie, sometimes you need something to just play in the background, or maybe take a nap to. David Attenborough’s Planet Earth series is perhaps on of the best documentaries ever made, and in HD it is just jaw-droppingly stunning. In fact, don’t wait until you have an HD TV for this one, even if you own a 1979 RCA with rabbit ears, you need to see this series now.

6. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

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Before he was telling us tear-jerking stories about closeted homosexual cowboys or nearly ruining The Hulk franchise, Ang Lee made a masterpiece of a movie called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The movie blends the best elements of fantasy and martial arts into a visual masterpiece. Lee manages to take a compelling story and use the visuals to suck you into a fantasy world that makes your suspension of disbelief easy.

5. Fight Club

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Once you see the Power Penguin in HD, the world makes sense. The guy you sit next to on the plane may be an single serving friend, but Fight Club is by no means a single serving movie, it is worth watching a few times. And let’s be honest, any movie that has the line: “I haven’t been f*cked like that since grade school” deserves to be seen in HD.

4. Die Hard Collection

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Die Hard is everything an action movie should be — explosions, guys jumping through windows shooting things, and one-liners you can use later on when you are talking trash to your buddies while playing a video game. They also happen to be Christmas themed, so they make an appropriate gift for the holidays. Yippee-Kay-Yey Muthaf@#$!!

3. Avatar

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Sure, Avatar is nothing more than a re-telling of Dances with Wolves with smurfs on steroids; but the visual spectacle that is Avatar is nothing short of amazing. Many movies try to hide their CGI inadequacies with dark scenes and fast movements, but James Cameron had all the money he wanted and all the time he needed to produce the highest grossing film of all-time, and the quality showed.

2. The Godfather Collection

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Many of us did not have the pleasure of watching the Godfather on the big screen, but the work of Francis Ford Coppola shines in HD. (While you are at it pick up a copy of Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula, that movie is better than you remember.) Although it does not have the same big explosions as others on this list, Coppola’s use of shadows coupled with excellent performances by Brando and Pacino make the Godfather a very enjoyable HD experience.

1. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

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Peter Jackson knew what he was doing when he filmed The Lord Of the Rings movies in New Zealand. He managed to shoot some of the most breathtaking landscapes in the world and capture them on film. If you want to change the way you watch movies at home, go buy an HD TV, a Blu-ray player, and spend a weekend watching this fantasy trilogy. You think that chick Legolas looked hot with her long flowing blond hair in the movie theater, wait until you see her on your TV in HD. Wait?…What did you say about her?…That’s a dude?…Really?

So how should a fan like me rank U2 albums? Do I count the best songs, stack them up against each other? Or do I consider musicianship and lyrical prowess, both of which have improved drastically over the years? Should I consider how the songs translate into a live performance or how they stand the test of time? Honestly, I will readily admit that my ranking of U2’s twelve studio albums will not be a scientific affair. I cannot escape the fact that pure emotion and my own life experiences have undoubtedly influenced how I view U2’s work. I’ve tried to limit such infiltration to concentrate instead on what I think of each record right now. (I’ve tried to put nostalgia aside.) Lastly, let me point out that there are varieties of U2. The band’s work can be broken down into four chronological subsets of three albums each:

The Early Years—Boy, October, War.
The Conscientious-America Years—The Unforgettable Fire, The Joshua Tree, Rattle and Hum.
The Ironic Years—Achtung Baby, Zooropa, Pop.
The Albums That Have Long Titles Years—All That You Can’t Leave Behind, How to Dismantle and Atomic Bomb, and No Line on the Horizon.

I imagine that different schools of fandom have been formed over the years. I’ll just come out and say that I’m from the Zoo TV school, though there is not one U2 record that I dislike.

Note to U2: I know if you ever laid eyes on this list you’d hate it because during the past decade, whenever you’ve released an album, you’ve been known to say something like, “I think this is our best album.” I was in a band. I know it is said out of sincere belief. Given this sentiment, though courageous and worthy of applause, simply winds up not squaring with reality. Freshness is not the same thing as greatness.

Note about U2’s thirteenth studio record: In 1994 U2 came out with Original Soundtracks 1. But it was released under the band name Passengers because it was a real collaboration with Brian Eno, who was a full band member if not the leader of the Passengers. This record cannot be considered a U2 album. I do love it and if pushed, I’d have it competing on the bottom half of this list.

12. October (1981)

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I actually love October. It’s darker than the previous released Boy. Tomorrow, Gloria, and the title track are fantastic songs. But they’re not enough to place it higher than Boy, which features winners such as Electric Co., I Will Follow, A Day Without Me, and Shadows and Tall Trees. But (and this is a very big but), nothing on these records can really compare to what came after them. They should really be considered numbers 14 and 15.

11. Boy (1980)

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U2′s first record, rightly titled Boy, is a better album than the later released October. The album has superior songs, but fails in comparison to further later albums, especially those done after War. U2 fans will appreciate this album, but also see how green the band was with just glimpses of their future stardom coming out in the music.

10. Rattle and Hum (1988)

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I almost want to put Rattle and Hum ahead of No Line on the Horizon, but I can’t. I prefer “All I Want is You”, “Desire, Silver and Gold”, “God Part II”, “When Love Comes to Town”, “Angel of Harlem”, or “Love Rescue Me” to many some songs on No Line on the Horizon, but musically, sonically, and as a collection of well-written songs, I admit that No Line is superior. What really made me place this album on this spot is the seemingly haphazard way it was slapped together. It comes off as not being a real studio album even though it was a double record. I refuse to criticize the band for exploring the roots of American music, though frankly I think they do it better than other bands that love to explore this aspect of music culture.

9. No Line on the Horizon (2009)

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The best songs to come off this album are the title track, “Fez”, “White as Snow”, and “Cedars of Lebanon”, with only the title track being a true rock song. Fez may be a very odd song, but alas it is my favorite. On this record, the musicianship is fantastic, the lyrics are inspiring and the overall ideas are manifested perfectly. As good as it is there are some cheese factors I can’t get over. The way Bono sings the word “magnificent” on the track with the same name makes me cringe. It is sung annoyingly like a cross between lounge singer and circus ringmaster. The monotone chanting on “Unknown Caller” almost ruins the song. For the major flaws I blame Eno, fair or not. No matter what the monotone signifies it sounds stupid. And, Bono, it’s not ATM machine, that would mean Automatic Teller Machine machine. No one, not even Bono, can get away with singing “ATM Machine” sincerely. Don’t get me wrong, I like the record, I just don’t love it.

This might be a huge stretch, but I wonder if the band picked the wrong songs for this record. Typically, while putting together an album, U2 choose eleven or so songs out of many more possibilities. Word on the street is that U2 will have a new record out by the end of 2010, a much quicker turnaround than usual.

8. War (1983)

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“New Year’s Day” is a brilliant song that became fully realized on the Zoo TV tour right along with many U2 songs. I also think “Seconds” and “Surrender” are quite underrated tracks. Few songs in the universe compare emotionally to “Sunday Bloody Sunday”. When other bands were writing silly pop songs, U2 wrote about politics, war, disillusionment, and anger, not to mention Poland’s solidarity movement. It seems strange to put this record ahead of No Line on the Horizon. But I can’t help the feeling that the best songs on War are just so much better than the best songs on No Line even if the musicianship, song ideas, and production are not.

7. How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (2004)

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Why the Edge decided to play like other guitar players, I have no idea, but I can’t really stomach power chords, as on the rocker “All Because of You”. Such traditional chord playing is used to better effect on other tracks, including “Crumbs From Your Table”, which features great textures, a fantastic vocal performance, and a great lyric about the United States and its citizens. “City of Blinding Lights”, “Vertigo”, “Miracle Drug”, “Love and Peace or Else” are simply superior in just about every way to most songs on the early records.

6. All that You Can’t Leave Behind “ATYCLB” (2000)

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Some U2 fans would put this record, as well as the two that came after it, higher on this list. These same fans never got or at least liked U2’s work in the 1990s. Old School U2 fans would prefer War or Boy higher on this list. But there’s simply no way U2 could have written songs like “Beautiful Day”, “Kite”, “Walk On”, “Peace on Earth”, “In a Little While”, or “New York” back in the early 1980s. All of the songs on this record are far superior to just about anything on the first three records. That said, some songs on ATYCLB, such as “Wild Honey and Grace”, just don’t work. The cheesy synthesizer or whatever the hell it is on “When I look at the World” is annoying, which is a shame because the lyrics are great. Slightly, I prefer The Unforgettable Fire, which has a better overall mood and really carries the weight of its title.

It should be said that U2 constantly try to be popular. With all their work in the 2000s, trying to put songs on the radio has been their downfall. I am not sure if I care that they would completely disagree. ATYCLB is not necessarily a return to basics, but the song structures are more traditional than Pop, and that’s probably why people say U2 returned to being themselves with this album.

5. The Unforgettable Fire (1984)

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Teaming with Brian Eno and Danny Lanois was the best decision U2 has ever made. While Steve Lillywhite is a fine producer and U2 still works with him on nearly every record in some capacity, Eno and Lanois are more of a songwriting team, and a bizarre mix of one at that. Their brilliance is not just in the ideas about songs, but the production value as well.

The record sounds much more mature than U2’s first three records even though it came out only one year after War. It was the first one that featured the sorts of soundscapes and moods that U2 became known for. “A Sort of Homecoming” is my favorite track on the record, a visual song with bombastic lyrics. “Bad” might be the best and most emotive, especially live. “Pride” has been overplayed, but it is as potent and inspiring an homage to a fallen hero as any band has ever written. The title track was inspired by artwork depicting the atomic nightmare of Japan, 1945. This record saw U2 come into their own as a unique creative force.

4. Pop (1997)

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Pop is the fourth best U2 record ever…there…I said it! I don’t give a crap what anyone says, not even U2, who in their own damn book pretty much disparage every song as being a good idea not fully realized. Screw that! The Edge’s guitar parts are potent and have rarely been more sonically pleasing or interesting. The mesh of drum machines, loops, and real drumming I find fascinating. The lyrics have never been bolder, and the fact that Bono’s voice was on the fritz only made the record sound more authentic to me. But where U2—or at least The Edge—wanted to create more of an ode to dance music, they failed to succeed here. Maybe their failure is my gain as I don’t really like club music; but I love the sound of U2 throwing punches at sacred boundaries because when they do that—see Zooropa, Achtung Baby, The Unforgettable Fire—they never fully succeed. It is in that seeking and failing that the band comes up with their best work.

On Pop, I love how Bono writes of faith lost even though he never lost his own faith. He took on the life of another character in a more subtle way than he did on Achtung Baby or Zooropa. Not only does that take courage, but he opened up his listeners to deeper conception of the interplay between doubt and faith.

“Miami” is a clunker, though I do love the great shift from backwards loops to straight forward drumming, and that bass line is awesome. “Playboy mansion” I don’t like, but the rest of the tracks: “Gone”, “Mofo”, “Last night on Earth”, “Please”, “If You Wear that Velvet Dress”, “Staring at the Sun”, hit home for me. There’s not a cheesy, traditional guitar riff on this record aside from maybe “Discotheque”, which was on purpose.

In their live show, many of the Pop’s songs don’t hold up as well as others. But I’m not ranking tours, and frankly, I think the band is afraid to trot out songs from the album, which they’ve pretty much disowned at this point. Maybe it could have been a lot better had they not booked a tour before finishing the album. But I don’t buy it. It’s a fantastic record the way it is. U2 should work with producer Flood more not less.

3. Zooropa (1993)

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This was the height of what some people call U2’s “experimental stage” and I think it’s a complete winner. From the controlled confusion of the title track to the apocalyptic ending sung by Johnny Cash, Zooropa is the perfect addendum to Achtung Baby. In the middle of a two-year tour of the world, U2 decided to make another studio album, sometimes playing a show in Europe and flying back to Ireland to do studio work before flying back to another city for a concert. Crazy times produced a crazy good record.

“Stay” is one of the best U2 songs while “The First Time” is a new take on the story of the prodigal son. “Dirty Day” is an ode to Charles Bukowski with killer lyrics and a dead-on guitar part. It is such a freakishly intimate song that it can’t work live in front of 50,000 people though I’d like them to at least try. “Lemon” is such an underrated song, one of the best choruses and bridges of any U2 song.

2. The Joshua Tree (1986)

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It was not as easy for me to put The Joshua Tree at number two as you might think. But the songs are just too strong. And because we’ve heard the best of them live, we can see how truly great these songs are compared to those on earlier and later records. I’m not sure there’s a better political rock song than “Bullet the Blue Sky”. The amplifiers bleed guilt and from the lyric is spawned old-school biblical finger pointing. The 1993 live version is spot on and I don’t know why, of all songs, the band has abandoned it in concert. The emotional connection these songs induce should not be understated. It is a heavenly record that occasionally floats into Hades. But there is at least one throwaway, “In God’s Country” a nice but relatively average track as is “Red Hill Mining Town”. (I can’t say that about any song on Achtung Baby, not even “Trying to Throw Your Arms Around the World”, which is a drunk ode, a necessary slouch on the couch in a record full of emotional rampages.)

“Trip Through Your Wires” is a step above “God’s Country” but does not compare to the best tracks on that record—classics such as “With or Without You”, “Where the Streets Have No Name”, “Running to Stand Still”, “Exit” and “One Tree Hill”.

1. Achtung Baby (1991)

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This is, in my opinion, by far the best U2 record. The context alone is staggering. With Achtung Baby, U2 pulled off perhaps the most successful drastic shift from one brand of rock music to another that any band has ever attempted save maybe The Beatles. Lyrically, musically, emotionally, and perhaps most importantly sonically, Achtung Baby delivers like no other U2 record. “One” is the most memorable track; it manages to succinctly capture the essence of a range of emotions from hope, love, love lost, unity, diversity, desperation, blame, forgiveness, and faith not only in lyric but in style, musical tone, and pure guts. That said, “Until the End of the World” may be the most potent rock song. It is a conversation between Jesus and Judas, the opening riff seems to ooze Jerusalem circa year A.D. 33. When I think of The Edge and why I love his playing, I think of this song. This record finds The Edge at his most “Edgy”. The solo in “The Fly” is so sonically brilliant that some days I can’t stop listening to it. Bono said that “The Fly is the sound of four men chopping down The Joshua Tree”. There is no earnestness in the song. Or is there? The ending lyric, as if spoken from a payphone, gives it away.

Bono became a real singer on this record and then on the Zoo TV tour. His falsetto was used brilliantly. He perfectly captured every emotion that each song demanded. You could say that Bono is a better singer, now that he’s mastered the art of the performance. But the new songs don’t match those on Achtung Baby. It’s textures are rich, the melodies and rhythms and soundscapes are unique and uniquely U2 at the same time. Yet, the core purpose of each song is never lost. All together these twelve brilliant tracks create the most cohesive album in the U2 arsenal. Achtung Baby is not only the best U2 album, it’s my favorite album, period!

10. 21 Jump Street

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Make no mistake, what seems like a teeny-bopper show with good looking guys and fresh faced females, was in fact quite a good watch. The shows premise is interesting in that a couple of young cops pass as high school students in order to bust drug activity at the school. The story lines were average, but the show was just a fun time and gave us one of the premier actors of our time in Johnny Depp. It also launched the careers of Jason Preistly, Richard Grieco and Holly Robinson Peete, giving us one of the first teen dramas before Fox and The WB became factories for them.

9. CHiPS

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When Erik Estrada and Larry Wilcox laced up the boots and revved the engines on their motorcycles, bad guys were sure to fall. CHiPS, the story of California’s motorcycle highway patrol units, was quite possibly the coolest show to come out of the 1970s. Playing John and Ponch, the duo made mirrored sunglasses a must-have for all aspiring cool guys and Ponch left us with the baddest ladies man since “The Fonz”. Despite the cheese factor the show was technically quite good and you would have to wonder if there was a large spike in applicants for the motorcycle cop jobs on the west coast after its success.

8. The Shield

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If Michael Chiklis shows up at your door, you know you did something to bring him there. The Shield on the FX network, is about a group of cops that are not above breaking a few of the rules in order to get the desired outcome in the line of duty. Chiklis plays Detective Vic Mackey to perfection winning an Emmy and a Golden Globe in the process of making The Shield one of cable’s most successful draws. The show is masterfully written and acted with tons of twists, subplots and story arcs to get you hooked for the long run.

7. Cagney & Lacey

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Most people who were avid television viewers in the 1980s will remember one of the most popular and well received dramas of the decade, Cagney and Lacey. Tyne Daly and Sharon Gless teamed up to emmulate the lives of female police partners. For the time in which this show was created, it was a bold move as women were primarily portrayed as homemakers or sidekicks until this show gave them the podium to be a rallying cry for blue collar women all over the country. Winning numerous awards and accolades, Cagney and Lacey became a vehicle and created a culture where it was normal for women to be portrayed as tough, gritty crime fighters.

6. CSI

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There may not be a show in the last twenty years that has changed the landscape of TV as much as CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. William Peterson and Marge Helgenberger star as forensic analysts in this smart drama that finally stopped dumbing down television and gave a little respect to the viewer. Setting the tone for other extremely intelligent shows such as Lost, Mad Men, Breaking Bad and House, CSI also made CBS the premier prime time network. Peterson left the show after almost a decade of playing Detective Gil Grissom, but the shows success was able to draw tons of interest including Laurence Fishburne, and make it cool again for A-List actors to be on the small screen.

5. NYPD Blue

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Nudity on network TV?…Say it ain’t so!! Yes it happened when the groundbreaking NYPD Blue hit the air bringing tons of muscle and raciness to prime time. No one will forget that Amy Brenneman, Charlotte Ross, Sherry Stringfield and…Dennis Franz (WTF?) bared it all. Despite the fame for flashing skin, the show was phenomenal with quality acting, directing and well written scripts. Blue won countless awards include many Emmys, and played for twelve seasons, about a decade more than most shows last. Give it up to producer Steven Bochco who really knows how to sell the small screen bringing us some of the best crime and police dramas ever.

4. Dexter

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We understand that Dexter is not really about the cop aspect of the show, more it is about a serial killer who works for the police department forensic team in Miami and chooses his victims through his access to confidential files. But nonetheless, he works for the police department and the show centers around the homicide department and their investigations into serial killer activity.

Dexter may be the best show on TV right now with its superb writing and as-good-as-it-gets acting. The graphic nature of the show puts it on Showtime and therefore doesn’t necessarily get the ratings of some of the other shows, but really who cares. Never before has there been such a brilliant anti-hero in Hollywood.

3. Law and Order

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Law and Order, created by super producer Dick Wolf, has become one of the most successful shows ever on television during its astounding 20 seasons and counting run. While turnover of the cast has been high, the boldness, creativity and “straight from the headlines” stories have kept people riveted for years.

The show is divided into two half hour segments containing a police investigation followed by a courtroom proceeding. Combined with legends Jerry Orbach and Sam Waterson, Law and Order launched the careers of many notable actors including Jesse L. Martin, Chris Noth, Benjamin Bratt and Angie Harmon. Set to become the longest running drama ever next season (passing Gunsmoke) we expect the show to go down as one of the greatest ever.

2. Miami Vice

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Few people realize just how groundbreaking and influential Anthony Yerkovich’s neon infused crime drama Miami Vice was on the TV world in the 1980s. Don Johnson, Philip Michael Thomas and Edward James Olmos highlighted a great cast that did justice to the better than average writing and exceptional cinematography and editing. We would also be guilty if we didn’t mention the fashion influence, however awfully 80s it looks today, and how overwhelmingly persuasive it was on society.

Prior to Vice dramas never showed anyone dying, never used questionable language and never used mainstream music in their soundtrack. By today’s standard it may look tame, but at the time seeing blood on network TV was taboo, not to mention questionable language and sex, all of which Miami Vice pushed the envelope. But the biggest influence in my opinion is the revolution it started in using mainstream artists to produce music for the show. In the very first episode Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight” was featured in a dramatic scene setting the tone for future episodes in a brilliant way. Lastly, if you go to IMDB and look at the acting credits, it is amazing to see the who’s-who of Hollywood and where they may have had there breakout role. Miami Vice was revolutionary in so many ways and remains close to the hearts of fans to this day.

1. The Wire

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The Wire is quite possibly the best show ever made…Period! There has never been a show so brilliantly structured and continually acted, written and directed so beautifully as well. The plot unfolds without excessive violence or sex (although some scenes leave you a bit squeamish) and that only lends to the dynamic nature of the premise. In a rough city like Baltimore, Maryland how do the people of the city cope with an underworld that seems to be just about everywhere?

The story is told over five seasons with each season taking on a different aspect of city life. Season one focuses on the police department, season two the harbor, season three the politicians, season four the public school system and season five the media. Each one is told with the same regular characters just from a different perspective. Although the majority of the cast is ever-present throughout the show’s run, just when you think there may be a star to the show….BAM!!…no more. The Wire represents everything good about Hollywood through its audacious story and relentless drama. We may not have another Wire, but when perfection is attained it is hardly ever repeated.

For the sake of diversity, I chose films from ten different countries and nine different languages. So even though a few excellent films were left off that may not have been otherwise, I did not want this list to be full of only Spanish language and Korean films (for example). This made some of the choices difficult, but before you criticize that your favorite foreign film was left off, give these films a view (if you haven’t already). Also, for me the definition of ‘must see’ includes films with mass appeal, that are not pigeon-holed in one genre or for one audience. For a few more great foreign films of the last decade, check out the honorable mention at the bottom of the list. Lastly, I did not consider animated films while creating this list.

10. Zwartboek (Black Book) – Dutch (Netherlands) 2006

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Three years before Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Bastards, Paul Verhoeven created this story about a Jewish woman whose country is occupied by Nazi Germany, whose family is killed by Nazi’s, and who disguises herself as a non-Jew in order to exact her plan for revenge. This version, though less critically received, puts a much more realistic touch on the plot, as Rachel (Carice van Houten) maneuvers her way up the Nazi hierarchy and into the heart of one of its leaders.

The complexity of the relationships, including the sincere affection that Rachel develops towards the man she is deceiving, highlight the film. The photography of the film resonates well, as the film bleeds its colors, making it feel authentic to its time. These attributes, combined with a great plot, packed with suspense, action, and romance make Black Book a must see.

9. Paradise Now – Arabic (Israel) 2005

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Created by a Palestinean director (Hany Abu-Assad) and an Israeli producer (Amir Harel), Paradise Now puts a human face on terrorist plots. This tale of two friends who are recruited to be suicide bombers show their mental and physical journeys while considering whether to go through with their plot. Unexpectedly separated before going through with their plan, they individually experience different people and confront their respective pasts. Their ultimate final decision comes to each as a result of the people and places they encounter and one’s attempt to stop the other build to a tension-filled and tragic conclusion.

8. Tsotsi – Tsotsitaal (South Africa) 2005

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Tsotsi, which translates to ‘thug’ in the Tsotsitaal, shows a few days in the life of a gangster in a slum outside Johannesburg, South Africa. This gritty drama, centered around an accidental kidnapping, builds a theme of humanity over a suspenseful story of a common criminal. The gradual and believable transition of the main character (Presley Chweneyagae) from a thief and gangster to caring custodian highlights the film and its message of redemption.

7. Gwoemul (The Host) – Korean (South Korea) 2006

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Chosen over the great Oldboy (mentioned previously in my comic book list), The Host is chosen as the best Korean film of the last decade mostly because of its universality, as compared to the other two. Although amazingly complex, Oldboy primarily serves as a revenge tale, while Infernal Affairs is essentially a crime/cop drama.

The Host, on the other hand, not only crosses genres (monster movie/family drama), but also seamlessly moves from terror to humor to emotional and back again. Added to that, the creators of this film managed to squeeze in social and political messages, as the monster is unjustly accused of being a host of a deadly virus, in addition to reeking havoc on Seoul. This truly unique adventure entertains throughout and manages to be packed with surprises (which are severely lacking in most monster movies produced) and its unconventional bitter-sweet ending make this film truly one-of-a-kind.

6. Wo hu cang long (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon) – Chinese (Taiwan) 2000

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The highest grossing foreign language film of all time, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon opened the doors for foreign films with western audiences. Beautifully shot with incredible landscapes throughout, this tale, which focuses on three female warriors and their struggles within the Wudang community appealed to all audiences. The different stories and backgrounds of each of the main characters, the heroine, the pupil, and the villain, each cast different shades of the female experience in a male dominated society.

The prominent story, of a woman (Michelle Yeoh) who has repressed her romantic feelings for her closest friend (Chow Yun-Fat), is a unique perspective on human interaction that is rarely focused on in film. Another compelling relationship is that of the villain (Cheng Pei-Pei) and the pupil (Zhang Ziyi), which focuses on the former’s cynicism and the latter’s naïvety and emotional development. Overall, despite the fantastic special effects and choreography, the relationships and character development steal the focus and success of the film.

5. Le fabuleux destin d’Amélie Poulain (Amelie) – French (France) 2001

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Known to American audiences simply as Amelie, this prototypically bazaar French film manages to appeal to all audiences with the charming lead (Audrey Tautou) playing the title character. This fabulously shot movie about an antisocial and quirky, yet gorgeous woman is all at once funny, tragic and touching. Inspiring the Travelocity gnome, this film is full of interesting and original ideas spawned from the mind of the heroine. Also among them, is her secret goals to conspire at making strangers secret wishes come true, without their knowing her schemes. The most touching scheme occurs when she reunites a man with his grandson, leading to an emotional scene featuring greasy fingers and chicken.

4. C.R.A.Z.Y. – French (Canada) 2005

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I know it seems like I cheated to slip in a second French language film, but this Quebecois production gets an exception to my rule. The amazing narrative of a family, centered around the fourth of five sons, spans two decades, from 1960 to 1980. Though the focus of the film is lead character Zach’s (Marc-André Grondin) spiritual journeys and inner struggles, the entire family dynamics are the hallmark of the movie. Each brother’s personality manages to influence Zach and the family in different ways. Most important to the story is his eldest brother, Christian (Maxime Tremblay), whose battles with women and drugs help Zach learn valuable lessons about life and family.

The greatest aspect of the film is the incredible music, which effectively transports the audience to the time in which the story takes place. This excellent soundtrack features songs from Patsy Cline (whose cover of Willie Nelson’s Crazy will never sound the same after this film), Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, Billie Idol, and others. One of the best scenes of the movie, which features The Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy for the Devil,” Zach imagines a church congregation singing to him as he ascends to a divine-like status. The music in this scene, as with many others, becomes a main character, and adds a dimension that rarely exists in the majority of films.

3. El Laberinto del Fauno (Pan’s Labyrinth) – Spanish (Spain) 2006

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Pan’s Labyrinth is best described as a child’s fairy tale made for adults. It successfully transports the viewer to the perspective of Ofelia (Ivana Baquero) and into her world which gently bends between reality and fantasy (with the help of a timeless score by Javier Navarrete). In the end, the audience is left to speculate as to whether the fantasy was real, but regardless of what conclusion is made, the ride is amazing.

While jumping between the fantasy world and the real world, Ofelia (along with the audience) fall victim to many sorts of violence and deceit. The true success of the story is how the brutality of reality always pushes beyond our expectations and sensitivities. Whether or not the imaginary world is real, Ofelia is forced to believe in it to cope with her tragic circumstances. Ultimately, even against insurmountable odds, Ofelia triumphs as a hero in both worlds.

2. Låt den rätte komma in (Let the right one in) – Swedish (Sweden) 2008

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One of the biggest surprises of the decade was the resurgence of the vampire genre. Let the right one in sets itself apart from the Twilight dung-heap to become arguably the greatest vampire film of all time. Its narrative including two children in a suburb of Stockholm, Sweden, eclipses the genre while becoming a story more complex than description can provide. One attempt at explaining its story would be to focus on the relationship between the two children (one being a vampire who does not age). However, the relationship’s dynamics cannot be summed up that simply, due to the symbiotic nature in which the two depend on each other.

The complexity of the relationship is countered by the simplicity of the story which features a bullied boy and a vampire who depends on someone else for survival. Their relationship seems to develop into a romantic one, however neither of them have the maturity to understand what that is. Overall, its a film that must be seen to truly appreciate it (However, look for a proper sub-titled version unless you want to miss out on the witty dark humor throughout.)

1. Cidade de Deus (City of God) – Portuguese (Brazil) 2002

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City of God, the partially true history of the birth of the gang wars in the slums of Rio de Janeiro, is one of the best films you’ll ever see (if you can keep your eyes open the whole time). The battles between rival gangs over a period of more than a decade are shown through the perspective of the film’s narrator and only protagonist, Rocket (Alexandre Rodrigues). His passion for photography and overall benevolence for others fuel his desire and efforts to escape the slums, and is symbolized by the first scene of the film, in which a chicken attempts to escape the slaughter.

Filmed with mostly residents of the actual slums, City of God paints a gritty and violent portrait of the area in the 1960s and 70s. The violence can be particularly stunning given the ages of the criminals which are portrayed by kids who are the actual age of the characters they play (unlike in most Hollywood productions). However, creative photography keeps much of the bloodshed off-screen, making the brutality palatable.

Plot and the shock of the story aside, this film also triumphs as a creative film landmark. Its time-line, composition, and overall style borrow from modern film greats such as Scorsese and Tarantino. In particular, a musical montage of violence draws an automatic comparison to a similar scene from Goodfellas, which was set to Derek and the Dominos’ “Layla.” However, regardless of similarities, its overall composition transcends comparison, making it a must-see and one of the greatest films of all time.

Honorable Mention

Infernal Affairs – Cantonese (Hong Kong) (2002)
Motorcycle Diaries – Spanish (South America) (2004)
Oldboy – Korean (South Korea) (2003)
Y tu Mama Tambien – Spanish (Mexico) (2001)
Brotherhood of the Wolf – French (France) (2001)

15. Steve Carell – Dan in Real Life

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Steve Carell proves that he can manage a dramatic roll in this film about family dynamics and overcoming tragedy. His great performance carries the film and paired with the supremely talented Juliette Binoche, their secret and intense relationship evokes laughs and tears throughout. The highlight of the performance (and the film) is Carell’s impromptu cover of ‘Let My Love Open the Door.’ His stoic gaze at Binoche through most of the his singing leaves an unforgettable impression on the audience.

14. Rodney Dangerfield – Natural Born Killers

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We doubt anyone saw this one coming. The consummate stand-up comedian who never got any respect taking on the role of an incestuous and abusive father in Oliver Stone’s satirical crime drama Natural Born Killers. The performance is good, but what made it special is a seemingly funny scene that was actually quite disturbing, yet brilliant given Dangerfield’s brief screen time. The movie was ok in our books but Rodney’s performance gave him tons of “respect.”

13. Monique – Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire

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Mo’Nique steps completely out of her comfortable comedy personality, into a screen persona that’s unimaginable for her prior to you seeing it. Winning a best supporting actress Oscar, she steps into an unflattering role as the title character’s abusive mother. Her Character essentially shapes the background of Precious (Gabourey Sidibe), giving the audience a sense of hopelessness prior to her efforts to turn her life around.

12. Will Ferrell – Stranger than Fiction

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In the last decade, Will Ferrell has been the go-to funny guy for production companies and movie studios. It was hard to imagine, given Ferrell’s priceless delivery and immaculate comedic timing, how the man would fare in a serious role. After hundreds of millions of dollars in ticket sales he was given the opportunity in 2006s Stranger Than Fiction.

Not only did Ferrell do well, but you could say he knocked it out of the park, delivering an endearing performance as a neurotic OCD suffering business man who begins to hear a famous author (Emma Thompson) narrating his life. Ferrell was brilliant and the role was perfect for him. Who knows if he could repeat the dramatic performance, but we would be hard pressed to doubt the man. We also hope he doesn’t make a habit out of it, as we still love his comedies.

11. Gene Wilder – Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

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It is important to remember that 1971′s Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was not a comedy in the strict sense — possibly a dark comedy — but was dramatic, creepy, humorous and somewhat disturbing in several scenes. What lent to the cult classic nature of the film was Gene Wilder’s portrayal of the chocolate and candy mogul.

At times during the film, Wilder didn’t have to speak to convey a feeling that was intended. Most powerful may have been the complete lack of remorse or sympathy for the kids who were eliminated one by one on account of their own evils. Playing the reclusive Wonka was a perfect fit for the actor and the timeless performance, as well as the movie, will continue to inspire future generations of fans as they flow in like a big river of chocolate.

10. Jackie Gleason – The Hustler

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In 1961, the man who made millions laugh with his Ralph Kramden persona, took on the role of the legendary Minnesota Fats along side Paul Newman in The Hustler. The pool hall flick is considered by many to be the comedian’s finest role and earned him a Best Supporting Actor nomination. Even more impressive was the fact that he performed almost all of the pool shots himself except one, the massé shot (cue ball sends two object balls into the same pocket), which was performed by Willie Mosconi. Despite Newman’s star power, it was Gleason who stole the show and sent this picture “to the moon”!!

9. Damon Wayans – Bamboozled

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Spike Lee’s unforgettable and unflinching commentary on blacks in the entertainment industry is a must-see for anyone who believes racism is dead in America. Damon Wayans’ character only desires to create a television program on the level of ‘The Cosby Show,’ but after facing opposition from the network “suits”, he attempts to get fired by doing the exact opposite. In an ironic twist the insanely offensive and racist program he creates becomes a hit. The inner struggle of Delacroix (Wayans) and outer struggles he has with everyone around him aptly portray the real-life dilemma of all entertainers who embrace any level of stereotypes within their writing or performances.

8. Adam Sandler – Punch Drunk Love

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At first glance, Punch Drunk Love may simply look like the typical “Adam Sandler acts like an immature child” film. However, Paul Thomas Anderson wrote this film with Sandler in mind, which is precisely why the role seamlessly fits into what the SNL alum does best. Here, He capably offers a subtle shift in his abilities to show a mentally tortured and lonely man with severe social anxiety problems, among other things. This heartbreaking twist becomes evident before long, and we realize this character is not very funny, but is truly tragic.

7. Jim Carrey – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

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While The Truman Show may have introduced Jim Carrey to the world of drama, it was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind that solidified in our minds his ability to excel in a dramatic role.

Along side costar Kate Winslet, Carrey takes the Charlie Kaufman script about a man who attempts to erase all memories of his ex in order to save the pain and vivaciously portrays the broken man. To catch a true glimpse of his genius in the movie check out the latter scenes when his character begins to have regret about the erasure.

6. Jaime Foxx – Ray

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Jamie Foxx introduces audiences his dramatic acting capability flawlessly (winning an Oscar for his performance in the process), while portraying the late Ray Charles. In Ray, Foxx amazingly duplicates Charles’ personality, mannerisms, and music. That Foxx has made a career playing buffoon-type characters (see The Jamie Foxx Show, In Living Color, Booty Call, Etc.) makes his transformation even more impressive.

5. Whoopi Goldberg – The Color Purple

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Whoopi Goldberg is one of those recognizable figures that at times seems to be larger than life. Wearing many different hats in her career from comedian to movie star to celebrity host and talk show diva, she has made a name for herself in Hollywood as one of its most endearing performers. But what may be one of her least known triumphs was starring in the 1985 Steven Spielberg drama “The Color Purple” based in the Pulitzer Prized winning book by Alice Walker.

Goldberg’s acting took many by surprise as she reinvented herself before our eyes to play Celie a troubled African American woman growing up in the early 1900s deep south. The most disappointing aspect of the film may have been the 11 Oscar nominations with zero…yes ZERO wins! It would turn out to the performance of Goldberg’s career and catapult her into super-star status.

4. Bill Murray – Lost in Translation

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In this lauded film about loneliness, Bill Murray (an Oscar nominee for this film) comes close to playing himself as an over-the-hill film star who appears in Japanese liquor ads to pay the bills. His well-known dry wit shows through in this dramatic appearance making him a likable character, despite his flaws. Paired with Scarlet Johansson they make an unlikely, but captivating onscreen duo in Sofia Coppola’s sophomore effort.

3. Robin Williams – Good Will Hunting

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Credited by many as being one of the funniest men of our generation, Robin Williams has never failed to entertain no matter what genre he is performing in. Mostly known for his stand-up routines, Williams has always interspersed his movie roles between comedy and drama attempting extremely versatile roles including Popeye, Good Morning Vietnam, Hook, Ms. Doubtfire and Aladdin.

Despite dramatic turns in Dead Poet’s Society, The Fisher King and Awakenings, Williams is most celebrated for his role as Sean Macguire in the 1997 Gus Van Sant movie Good Will Hunting. Attempting to mentor an uncontrollable young janitor (Matt Damon) who’s IQ is off the charts, Williams details a subtle, yet immensely vulnerable, performance leading him to Oscar gold for his supporting role. The point where Macguire breaks the young man is poignant and a telling mark of the genius that is Robin Williams and “It’s not your fault” you love him as well.

2. Roberto Benigni – Life is Beautiful

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Roberto Begnini, often referred to as the Italian Robin Williams (both for his comedy and for his ability to transition into dramatic form), won an Oscar for his performance in Life is Beautiful (he was also nominated for best director the same film). Begnini infuses his charm and humor into Guido Orefice during both the romantic and tragic portions of the film. The result is what could be described as the funniest holocaust film ever made. As oxymoronic as that sounds, the romance and humor of the film connects with the audience unmistakeably.

Additionally, the latter half of the film shatters the traditional expectation of duty that a parent has for their child. The lengths that his character goes to, and by extension the actor who makes it believable, makes this film truly unforgettable. The film ends leaving the audience equally happy and sad after the bittersweet closure, that may leave even the hardest audience in tears.

1. Tom Hanks – Philadelphia

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It is easy to forget that, prior to 1993, Tom Hanks was one of the brightest comedic actors in Hollywood. With hit after hit in the 1980s such as Splash, The Money Pit, Volunteers, Bachelor Party, Dragnet and Big, Hanks made a name for himself being the funny guy. That all changed in 1993 when the actor agreed to take on the role of Andrew Beckett a lawyer who was fired from his firm after it was discovered that he was suffering from AIDS in the film Philadelphia.

Hanks’ is scintillating as he injects pure emotion and raw passion to the role while making you forget that it is a movie (the ultimate goal of a great performance). It is hard to believe that just a few years earlier he was jumping around on a larger-than-life piano with Robert Loggia. When you watch the performance and combine it with his next role as Forrest Gump, its not hard to understand how he has become the biggest dramatic draw in Hollywood.

Honorable Mention

Jaime Foxx – Collateral
Lily Tomlin – I Heart Huckabees
Eddie Murphy – Dreamgirls
Mike Myers – Inglorious Basterds
Steve Martin – Novocaine
Dan Aykroyd – Driving Miss Daisy
Marlon Wayans – Requiem for a Dream
Robin Williams – Dead Poets Society

I decided not to include real life serial killers (or the films based on them), because as much fun as killers are in fiction, I do not find real killers fascinating, interesting, or important in any way. Also, I decided to eliminate from contention any character that has any sort of supernatural powers.

10. John ‘Jigsaw’ Kramer – Saw

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Jigsaw would likely be higher on this list if he had actually killed anyone in the film. However, he clearly deserves to be here because of the shear amount of people who perish as a result of his actions. Jigsaw seeks to teach his victims lessons about life, which also makes him unique to this list. The physical, but primarily mental tests he gives his captives allows them to make choices which can either lead to their freedom or death. Unfortunately, the choices are usually too difficult or lead to unexpected consequences, making the victim’s escape futile.

9. Stuart ‘Stu’ Macher and Billy Loomis – Scream

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Both killers in Scream are equally compelling, even for a high-school horror film, which clearly did not need depth in either of its villains for success. Stu’s (Matthew Lillard) motivation most likely boiled down to mental illness combined with peer pressure. His mental illness in the film is never mentioned, but his personality clearly has sociopathic tendencies. Billy Loomis (Skeet Ulrich) on the other hand plans an elaborate revenge plot, which really necessitated genius (which is hidden far beneath the surface in the film) to accomplish.

Together, Billy and Stu strike fear into an entire town, especially the local high school, while attempting to make their crimes look inspired by horror films. They nearly get away with the entire plot, even stabbing each other to create the impression that they were victims themselves. Ultimately their plan is foiled by the target of their scorn, Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell). Oddly, in several sequels, others attempt to kill Sidney, and despite her mental instability, weak physical stature and overall naïveté, they fail miserably.

8. Kevin – Sin City

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Perhaps the least realistic of all the killers on this list, Kevin (Elijah Wood) qualifies as a disgusting villain, not only for his murder, but also for cannibalism. Able to get away with virtually anything he pleases, because of the general corruption of the city and his political connections, he does whatever he likes. Mostly killing prostitutes, he’s able to be free for years, until killing Marv’s (Mickey Rourke) love. Marv, in my personal favorite of all the Sin City stories, physically outmatches Kevin and gives him a fitting punishment for his crimes. The unflinching gaze of Kevin while being devoured by dogs cements his place on this list.

7. Captain Spalding, Otis P. Driftwood, and Baby Firefly – The Devils Rejects

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The Devil’s Rejects, Rob Zombie’s 2005 follow-up to House of 1,000 Corpses, provides a chilling and horrifying look at the greatest serial killer family in film. Its superiority to the previous film results from its pace and the characters further depth, as well as its success at casting the police as villains. This extremely violent look at a family that takes joy in killing, and sometimes may even turn on each other, shows how any family, even the most gruesome of ones, manages to come together in order to overcome adversity. In this case, the adversity is the police, who hope to capture, torture and kill the family as vengeance against their previous crimes.

6. Anton Chigurh – No Country for Old Men

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I’m sure many will argue that Anton (Javier Bardem) is not a serial killer at all. It seemed as though he just wanted the money in the briefcase that he thought belonged to him. However, like Dexter explains to George ‘The Skinner’ King (Jesse Borrego), his desire for the money is merely an excuse to kill, not the real reason. This fact is clearly illustrated when Carson Wells (Woody Harrelson) offers Anton the location of the briefcase in exchange for being spared, yet Anton kills him anyway. Again, after her husband is already dead he kills Carla Jean Moss (Kelly MacDonald) as punishment to the deceased Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin) with no real reason or provocation.

This character, the first of two on this list to earn an Oscar for their portrayal, horrifies the audience with his casual nonchalance while killing on a whim or after coin toss. His creepy demeanor imprints his villainous nature on the history of film.

5. Norman Bates – Psycho

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Anthony Perkins portrays Norman Bates to perfection in the film Psycho. His character, suffering from severe mental illness as a result of years of abuse from his mother, appears normal to everyone else, as he presents himself as a humble business owner and son. His multiple personalities and deranged relationship with his mother lead him to kill anyone who threatens his mother’s wishes. His own lack of ability to realize the death of his mother and his adoption of her personality further illustrates his psychosis and makes him one of the most memorable and well known characters ever in film.

4. Earl Brooks – Mr. Brooks

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Earl Brooks (Kevin Costner) hails from perhaps the worst reviewed film referenced on this list, but that does not take away from his fantastic character. Mr. Brooks, clearly the most similar on this list to Dexter Morgan, loves his family, business and killing random strangers. However, like Dexter, he attempts to use peer groups, like alcoholics anonymous, to cope with his ‘dark passenger.’

Unlike Dexter, his ‘dark passenger’ is an actual character in the film. Marshall (William Hurt) adds most of the humor in the film (don’t even get me started on Dane Cook), and gives a visual aid to understanding the inner struggle of Mr. Brooks. Earl and Marshall together create a character far richer than the predictable storyline and overall weak supporting performances can offer. However, this character alone makes this direct to video film worth viewing.

3. Hannibal Lecter – The Silence of the Lambs

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The Silence of the Lambs introduced audiences to two of the greatest serial killers in film. In fact, Buffalo Bill may have made this list, if not for standing in the shadow of Hannibal Lecter. Likely one of the most terrifying characters presented here (in large part to the threat of becoming dinner), Hannibal Lecter manages to accomplish a certain degree of heroism in the film. Assisting Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) in the hunt for Buffalo Bill, a former psychiatric patient of Lecter, he gains the trust of the viewer, despite his gruesome acts. He further builds this trust as a result of his affectionate relationship with Starling, and shows respect towards her while defending her against her superiors and his warden.

Hannibal’s stunning escape from captivity illustrates his ingenuity, agility and brutality. Easily the most memorable scene from this film, he ruthlessly kills the guards and then wears one of their faces as a mask to escape in an ambulance. These set of events shock the audience and the other characters for their sheer gruesomeness and ingenious.

2. Patrick Bateman – American Psycho

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The ongoing debate about whether or not Patrick Bateman (Christain Bale) actually killed anyone is irrelevant to his distinguished status as a serial killer (It is worth noting that there are extremely convincing arguments to suggest its reality, but that is not the point of this discussion). His obsession with pop music and desire to ‘fit in’ counter his loathing for the lifestyle and people that he attempts to emulate. The constant internal struggle leads him to murder in order to cope with his psychosis.

The scene with the homeless man grants ample insight into Bateman’s mind. His loathing for anything difficult to understand from his perspective and his total rejection of compassion or sympathy are both illustrated here. Also, this murder directly results from his own perception of disgrace after his ‘bone’ business card fails to impress his peers more than Paul Allen (Jared Leto). This low self image continues to facilitate murders throughout the film and Bale plays the role meticulously.

1. John Doe – Se7en

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The top three on this list were exceptionally difficult to order because of their long-lasting and disturbing impressions on the mind of the audience. I choose John Doe to top them for several reasons. Most of all, he is the most dynamic and complex character on this list. His divine motivations and his anonymous identity (interestingly as anonymous as the city he dwells) make him a mysterious, albeit realistic, villain that seems to strike at random individuals. Their crimes, in which he uses them as examples for the world, are general behaviors we take for granted as harmless. However, during the dialogue of the final fifteen minutes, the audience is lured into a sense of sympathy for his motivations.

Also, his killing methods range for each victim. Each of the murders is carefully crafted, realistically portrayed, and essential to the theme of the film. In one case, his intended victim, Detective David Mills (Brad Pitt) is not even killed, though his fate is as bad or worse than the other victims. In the end, we’ve all come to believe John Doe; his acts will be studied and analyzed for generations to come. And in our world, John Doe (and the film Se7en) inspired a rash of (usually far inferior) serial killer films in the late 1990s.

Honorable Mention:

Buffalo Bill – Silence of the Lambs, Elijah ‘Mr. Glass’ Price – Unbreakable, Buddy ‘Syndrome’ Pine – The Incredibles

Given the timing with the new Hall of Fame class announcement we thought we would come up with an elite list of receivers in our opinion.

10. (tie) Andre Reed – Bills, Redskins & Art Monk – Redskins, Jets, Eagles

It was hard choosing between these two as both were elite during their playing days while lacking the eccentricities or flash of many of the more modern receivers. Monk spent years on the Hall ballot and Reed will most likely do the same. The difference here is that Monk had the rings while Reed had slightly better stats when he finished up. Outside of the Super Bowl victories these two have a lot more similarities than differences and therefore will share the #10 spot.

9. Isaac Bruce – Rams, 49ers

Quietly under-appreciated, Isaac Bruce has had an elite Hall of Fame caliber career without many people talking about him. He is only one of six players with over 1,000 receptions, is second all time in yardage and has close to a hundred TDs. While Torry Holt received a lot more attention in St. Louis, Bruce put up huge numbers and never backed down into the “#2 receiver” role. Let’s not forget he was also part of, what many believe to be the best offense ever “The Greatest Show on Turf”.

8. Don Maynard – Giants, Titans, Jets, Rams

By the time Don Maynard retired in 1973 he held the career marks in receptions, yardage and was second in TDs scored. He was the epitome of consistency and while averaging almost 20 Y/R. It is my belief that Maynard is the single reason that overrated QB Joe Namath is a Hall of Famer. The young receiver was the best target a QB could hope for during the decade of the 1960s.

The two best years of Maynard’s career, 1967 and 1968, tell the tale of there being no coincidence as those were the two years the Jets were in contention for championships, the latter getting the job done.

7. Steve Largent – Seahawks

What happens to a Wide Receiver who is on one of the consistently worst NFL franchises for a span of over ten years? Well in Steve Largent’s case you break every receiving record in the books. Steve Largent looks like the average guy next door at 5’11″ 185 lbs. But what the man lacked in size he ever-so-greatly made up for in heart. Largent went on to be the first receiver to catch 100 TD passes and was a lock for the Hall of Fame.

As if this wasn’t enough accomplishment for one man he would later go on to the House of Representatives as their 1st congressional district representative. Not bad for a skinny kid from Tulsa.

6. Cris Carter – Eagles, Vikings, Dolphins

When your greatest critique is that “all you do is catch touchdown passes”, well it should signal a mighty fine career as an NFL wide receiver. It wasn’t easy for Carter who would struggle with addiction to Cocaine and Alcohol early in his playing days almost derailing his career before it started. He credits coach Buddy Ryan (who was the man behind the above quote) with turning his career around after cutting him from Philadelphia.

Carter would go on to be one of the best possession receivers ever and will get into the Hall of Fame very shortly after this years obvious snub.

5. Marvin Harrison – Colts

Although Harrison has recently been entangled in some quite disturbing legal issues, we can not forget what a dominant force he was catching the ball for the Indianapolis Colts throughout his 13 NFL seasons. Drafted at the end of the first round out of Syracuse, some thought Harrison was too undersized to play at the next level. He proved everyone of his naysayers wrong with a career that has him in the top five of every important receiving statistic. He also had what could be considered one of the top three single seasons ever when he recorded a record 143 catches for over 1,700 yards and 11 TDs.

We could argue all day that he had Peyton Manning as his QB and what not, but the play on the field speaks for itself. Let’s hope he doesn’t lessen a stellar career with a stupid act off the field.

4. Terrell Owens – 49ers, Eagles, Cowboys, Bills

For all the controversy, media banter and team squabbles, no one can deny that Terrell Owens has backed up his sometimes over eager mouth, with a Hall of Fame career. He is already statistically in the top five of all categories and still seems to be able to play at a high level because of an amazing conditioning routine. He has not gotten along with many QBs, probably because his ego is too big to share any limelight, but on the field he is a martyr with his desire to win and to be considered the greatest. While he may not get the latter recognition, it is safe to say that T.O. will be a lock Hall of Famer and amongst the greatest ever to catch a football.

3. Randy Moss – Vikings, Raiders, Patriots

If you account for pure talent, there has never been a better receiver ever. Randy Moss is an amazing pass catcher that seems to make everyone around him better (usually a QBs job). After a dominating career in Minnesota, most thought he was done when his career fizzled in Oakland (who’s dosen’t?), but after a trade to New England he had a resurgence that few if any ever see. Moss has had two careers that any single receiver would hope to have just one and done it despite attitude and mild drug issues. Just think what his numbers would look like if he didn’t spend two seasons of his prime in the black hole known as Oakland.

2. Jerry Rice – 49ers, Seahawks, Raiders

I know it is controversial to go against the grain here but Rice played in an era where the passing game was becoming universally recognized as the norm in pro football. With Joe Montana and Steve Young throwing him the ball, Rice’s numbers have been inconceivable. He has shattered all records and despite semi-embarrassing stints in Oakland and Seattle managed to save face, recently being inducted as a unanimous choice into the Hall of Fame. Putting Rice at #2 is not down playing what he has accomplished, but putting into perspective why our #1 deserves to be at the top of the list.

1. Don Hutson – Packers

It is very easy to forget what someone accomplished over 60 years ago, but Don Hutson was the Babe Ruth of football for what he achieved in the the time he did and just how far he was separated from the competition in his day. In an era where the running game was 80-90% of the offense for teams, Hutson revolutionized the passing game. His 1942 effort was astounding for the time when he caught over 70 passes for over 1,200 yards and 17 touchdowns! By the time he was finished it would be decades before his records were broken; and while Jerry Rice has records that may never be broken, the passing game was much more accepted in the 1980s-present than it was in the 1940s. Hutson was an enigma for his speed as well and while Rice was running exceptional routes — Hutson INVENTED the routes. For all these reasons we gave the Green Bay great the nod, however slight, over the great Jerry Rice.

15. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

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Tomato Meter:

The Terminator: 100%
Terminator 2: Judgment Day 97%
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines: 70%

Who remembers the central lesson of Terminator 2? Jim Cameron’s 1991 smash hit introduced audiences to the phrase, “No fate but what we make.” As in, we are in control of our own destiny — nothing is set in stone. With T2, Cameron told all the story he wanted to tell (he also wrote and directed the first Terminator film). And yet, an entirely unnecessary sequel comes along and ruins the mythology.

Guess what? Everything we told you before about how you make your own choices and can avert a global nuclear catastrophe — it was bollocks, all of it. It happens anyway and it’s small wonder Cameron wanted nothing to do with this travesty. Sure, it might have scored a 70% tomato rating, but any picture that deviates so dramatically from its core narrative deserves to be on this list.

14. Dumb and Dumberer

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Tomato Meter:

Dumb and Dumber: 62%
Dumb and Dumberer: 10%

The Farrelly Brothers really delivered the laughs in 1994′s cult favorite Dumb and Dumber. Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels’s brilliant performances as Lloyd and Harry on a cross-country trip to find Lloyd’s dream girl (Lauren Holly, whom Carrey would marry and later divorce in true Hollywood fashion) was met with commercial and critical acclaim. But when the two stars declined to do a sequel, New Line Cinema decided it would be a good idea to replace the stars with young unknowns and do a prequel, instead. To no one’s surprise, none of the magic of the first film made it and is notable mainly for Eric Christian Olsen’s spot-on imitation of Jim Carrey. But not much else.

13. The Whole Ten Yards

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Tomato Meter:

The Whole Nine Yards: 45%
The Whole Ten Yards: 4%

Now, we realize that The Whole Nine Yards was not exactly a critical success, but it had its moments and Bruce Willis gave an excellent performance and provided much of the film’s comic relief as an exiled mob hit man. How all the stars made the decision to be a part of the horrific script in The Whole Ten Yards we can only guess that it must have been for the paycheck. We wonder what became of the movie producer who approved dressing up Kevin Pollack in prosthetic makeup and returning as his father. What are the odds this executive is now out of work?

12. Highlander 2: The Quickening

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Tomato Meter:

Highlander: 66%
Highland 2: 0%

Yes, you read that right: 0% tomato rating. Highlander 2 has to go down as one of the biggest stinker sequels of all time. How do you follow up a simple, entertaining yarn about immortals battling each through the centuries in an effort to bring about the mysterious ‘quickening’? If you guessed hokey science fiction about permanent worldwide darkness, and — no stretch here — that the immortals are really aliens from the planet Zeist, you guessed right! Also, Sean Connery’s character Ramirez from the first film is conveniently revived, for reasons we still don’t understand. Total, utter, epic fail.

11. Blues Brothers 2000

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Tomato Meter:

Blues Brothers: 84%
Blues Brothers 2000: 45%

How do you screw up an absolute classic comedy filled with action, humor and musical numbers? You replace an overweight comedic legend (John Belushi) with another overweight mediocre one (no disrespect to John Goodman, after all he was Walter Sobchak) in an all-too-unnecessary sequel and hope nobody notices. Blues Brothers was an institution for almost 20 years before a sequel was given the green light. Blues Brothers 2000 really did not stand an inkling of a chance to be successful and is one of those forgettable second comings that fortunately doesn’t seem to have affected the priceless nature of the original.

10. Basic Instinct 2

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Tomato Meter:

Basic Instinct: 59%
Basic Instinct 2: 7%

Speaking of unnecessary sequels… A lot of the allure of the original Basic Instinct was its sexual shock value. At the time, a major star opening her legs and showing the va-jay-jay on camera was something very new for mainstream cinema. It made an even bigger star out of Sharon Stone and took audiences into a new age where nothing seemed off limits on the silver screen.

Basic Instinct 2, by contrast, confirmed that there’s nothing new under the sun with its below-average story and more than anything else made Stone look desperate to reclaim her star power. She is obviously past her prime. Note to other aging starlets: this is a good lesson how not to revive your career.

9. The Godfather Part 3

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Tomato Meter:

The Godfather: 100%
The Godfather Part 2: 98%
The Godfather Part 3: 66%

Part 3 wasn’t THAT bad. Really, the reason it ranks here is a) in relative comparison to how magnificent the first two are, and b) Sophia Coppola. She just sucks the air out of every scene. Somehow she is both wooden and petulant simultaneously and her performance shocks the viewer out of his disbelief. We can’t help but remember we’re watching a movie whenever we see her, so any hope of getting lost in the narrative is gone — when she makes us realize we that WE’RE WATCHING A MOVIE. One with a bad child actor (who by some strange occurrence has gone on to be quite a remarkable director in her own right). The elder Coppola’s a genius, to be sure. But when it comes to casting women roles, he sure knows how to misfire (see also Diane Keaton).

8. Karate Kid 3

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Tomato Meter:

The Karate Kid: 89%
The Karate Kid Part 2: 35%
The Karate Kid Part 3: 27%

What child of the 80s doesn’t include part 1 as one of his favorite teen movies of the decade? We laughed, cried and cheered with Daniel LaRusso and everyone’s favorite handy man, Mr. Miyagi. The sequel, while not quite as good, had its place and picked up nicely where the first one left off, introducing us to more of Mr. Miyagi’s past and gave his character additional depth. The third one, though, just didn’t fit into the story arc anywhere. The only reason we don’t include The Next Karate Kid is that it is a disaster of a totally different kind.

7. Staying Alive

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Tomato Meter:

Saturday Night Fever: 89%
Staying Alive: 0%

Staying Alive marks our second 0% tomato reading on this list. While many laud Pulp Fiction as the vehicle that revived john Travolta’s career, most people probably don’t realize what sunk his career in the first place. The answer? Staying Alive. After a successful run starring in the TV sitcom Welcome Back Kotter, Travolta took advantage of the era’s disco and club mania and produced the mega hit and cult classic Saturday Night Fever. Further propelling him into stardom was his opportunity to star as the lead in Grease and the bull rider’s anthem Urban Cowboy.

Then tragedy (or should we say travesty?) struck when some vindictive manager or perhaps a jealous relative convinced him to make a sequel that totally flopped. It was a lame attempt to capitalize on the success of its predecessor and just about killed Travolta’s career. Thank God for Quentin Tarantino.

6. Speed 2: Cruise Control

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Tomato Meter:

Speed: 90%
Speed 2: 2%

Hollywood loves to milk a hit. Speed was a simple straightforward action flick, good guys and bad guys, and everything turns out right in the end — the kind of thing mainstream audiences love. So naturally, the movie studio figures if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! But we can’t tell exactly the same story; no, that would be too obvious. So this time, instead of, um, a bus, let’s do it on a boat! It’s like a totally different movie!

There is not much to say about this disaster flick except that DISASTER seems to be the appropriate word. Keanu Reeves must have great representation, because he stayed far, far away from this movie. Sandra Bullock, by contrast, must not, but it doesn’t seem to have affected her career too much. Except maybe to give her a humorous answer to one of those “do you ever regret accepting a script?” questions.

5. Batman & Robin

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Tomato Meter:

Batman: 70%
Batman Returns: 77%
Batman Forever: 45%
Batman & Robin: 12%

When Tim Burton and Michael Keaton teamed up to make Batman and Batman Returns, fans and critics alike were thrilled with the results. When the pair left the franchise, Val Kilmer took over and we still had hope. But it’s clear that movie didn’t live up to the originals and we started downhill. He decided to bolt after one movie leaving George Clooney to fill his shoes in what must arguably be his worst role ever.

This movie was bad bad bad from beginning to end, with cheesy villains (The Governator as Mr. Freeze, Uma as Poison Ivey and Bane looking like some cheap stuffed animal), an insultingly unbelievable story and a totally unnecessary Batgirl (Alicia Silverstone). It started off so well, with so much promise, and then died on the vine.

4. Quantum of Solace

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Tomato Meter:

Casino Royale: 94%
Quantum of Solace: 63%

This may be a somewhat a controversial choice, since Casino Royale (94%) is not that far a spread from Quantum of Solace (63%), at least to many reviewers. But that undeservedly high rating totally masks how achingly dull and disappointing a sequel Quantum really is. All the things that made the first one great were missing: humor, subtlety, romantic banter, rich dialogue, clear narrative and dynamic pacing. In short, virtually everything that made Casino Royale the best Bond film in the franchise just went totally out the window with a Bond who was stone-faced, sullen, humorless, and driven to puzzling violence. Plus, Bond didn’t even get the girl!

Worse was how silly the plot was: a fight for water? What happened to real bad guys? Dominic Greene was a pale, ineffectual lout of a villain compared to Mads Michelson’s brooding and ominous character. I was shocked to learn that it was written by the same team that produced the superb Casino Royale — I thought for sure it must have been somebody else came along to ruin the new franchise. Looks like director Marc Forster just didn’t have the light touch that Martin Campbell brought and the result, compared to the stellar original, was hugely disappointing.

3. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

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Tomato Meter:

Pirates of the Caribbean: 78%
Pirates of the Caribbean 2: 53%
Pirates of the Caribbean 3: 45%

Similar to #4, the two ‘Pirates’ sequels lacked virtually everything that made the first one great. The first film was lively, funny, economical, with a plot that was complex yet still easily understood, all backed up by twin luminous performances by Depp as Captain Sparrow and Geoffrey Rush as Barbosa. I don’t know about you, but anytime Depp was not on screen in the first film, it seemed like I was just waiting around for him to come back: he was that electric. It worked because the scope of the film was small enough for him to fill it.

But the sequels grew more ambitious in their plot and therefore more unwieldy, trying to cram in so much storytelling that it obscured the simple, elegant nuances of the performances in the original. It’s like the actors are just obstacles in the way of the movie driving from scene to scene, and in the end I was just scratching my head wondering who was doing what, and why should I care? Lastly, what seemed a promising and credible love story ballooned into two people going through the motions of being lovers without actually appearing to like each other. We included the third film here because, while the second sequel was quite bad, the franchise was not yet ruined irreparably: a killer third sequel could have saved it. Alas, that was not this film.

2. The Matrix: Reloaded

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Tomato Meter:

The Matrix: 86%
The Matrix Reloaded: 73%
The Matrix Revolutions: 37%

Reloaded easily ranks among the greatest letdown in recent cinematic history. It’s true that Revolutions was actually a worse film, but this is the one that veered off the tracks — that dashed our hopes so profoundly following its predecessor masterpiece. In the original, we listen at the very end as Neo explains to the machines from the phonebooth that he’s going to show them a world without rules, borders or boundaries; a world without the machines. Then, he promptly flies out of frame to a rocking (and fitting) ‘Rage Against the Machine’ song. And we’re left with four years of waiting to see how Neo would lead the uprising against the machines, realize his full potential and free humans from their bondage.

But that’s not the story we got. Instead, we get long stretches of near-meaningless dialogue, something to do with a Frenchmen and a small Asian dude, a fight with countless Agents Smith that Neo simply flies away from when he gets bored, a suddenly impotent Morpheus and whiny Trinity, and worst of all: Spring Break Zion. Once we learned what Zion was, I no longer particularly felt it was a humanity worth saving, and at that point the film became irredeemable. (Also, turns out the ‘One’ is just a handy plot device to segue into the Matrix online MMORPG spinoff and another, less interesting sequel.) As in most of the movies on this list, this one almost made the first one seem an accident, the way everything that was great about it seemed to be left out almost by design. Not even the late, magnificent Gloria Foster (as the original Oracle) could save it.

1. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace

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Tomato Meter:

Star Wars: 94%
The Empire Strikes Back: 97%
Return of the Jedi: 75%
The Phantom Menace: 62%

In order to score tickets to the first showing of Episode 1 in May 1999, after 20 years of fervent expectation, I spent a night outside a theater waiting in line. I really, really wanted it to be great. It really, really could not have been any worse. Sure, I tried to convince myself — like many others — that it wasn’t really that bad, that maybe there were a few elements here and there that didn’t quite work right, but overall the film served its purpose to advance the narrative. Years later, I confronted the cold, terrifying truth: no filmmaker could have set out to produce a worse film if he tried.

Plot, characters, pacing — all rubbish. There’s so much Lucas could have done: shown us the glory years of the Jedi Order, follow them along on important missions, learn more about the mysterious and mystical ways of the Force, sympathize with all the tough choices a talented, powerful, charismatic Anakin Skywalker has to make and agonize over his fall… Nope, we got none of that. Just an incomprehensible, unbelievable and convoluted story about a snotty kid no one cares about and the rogue Jedi knight that forces him down everyone’s throat. Oh, and the Force is really just a bacterial infection.

But since cataloguing all the myriad ways this unmitigated disaster of a film would take too long, I’ll let this crazy fellow from Slashfilm do it for me:

(Be sure to watch all 7 videos.)

There’s no greater failure to meet expectations for a sequel (or prequel, in this case) than The Phantom Menace, and so it sits securely at our top spot. But you know the worst thing? Lucas himself doesn’t seem to care terribly much about how badly received the prequels were, like there’s something wrong with us about how badly he screwed them up. Oh well, there’s always fan fiction…

Dishonorable Mention:

Teen Wolf Too
Ocean’s 12
Son of the Mask
Jaws 3D